Moments We Take For Granted

Moments We Take For Granted ~

Today I had the privilege to have lunch with a close widow sister who has been by my side since right after I lost Mitch. I was standing in the restaurant, waiting to be seated before she arrived and a young woman walked in with the cutest little boy I’ve just about ever seen. The woman was tall and blonde, and she had a slight resemblance to me, and the little boy looked a lot like my Matthew. He grinned up at me, and I couldn’t take my eyes off his cuteness. Next thing I knew, the mom walked over to the large windows that faced the street and pointed and told her son, “look, Daddy is here.” He laughed and smiled and jumped up and down as his father approached the front door. As he walked through the doors, the little boy squealed with delight as the father rushed over to pick him up. After embracing his son, he walked over to mom and gave her a kiss and told her he loved her.

What a beautiful moment to witness, and yet what a bittersweet pit it left in the bottom of my stomach. It’s just one of those moments you would never deprive anyone on this earth from having, but a moment that takes your breath away, and leaves you feeling so profoundly sad and alone. I would give anything in my life to give my kids that moment, a moment that so many take for granted every single day.

I am not alone in this new normal. I have a wonderful man in my life. My kids have so much support, love, and endless fatherly figures. What my kids don’t have is Mitch, and no amount of good in our lives ever gives my kids that moment back. No amount of good allows my kids to jump up and down and run into their daddies arms. That reality hits me hard now and again, and there is nothing to be said or done, nothing fixes it, it just is what it is.

The moment passes, and I resume my new normal, but for a short time, I allow myself some pity, some sadness, and some deep reflection. Tonight I am back to feeling grateful for all we do have that makes me one extremely blessed widow.

Being a parent is a gift like no other, and if you are lucky enough to have a whole family unit or even a broken family unit, and both parents want to be part of your kiddos life, please move heaven and earth to make that possible. Embrace the little things, cherish the chaos, and remember that the lightness in a child’s eyes when he sees his mother or father is a gift that many would give their last dollar to have. Some things are priceless.

Michelle <3

5 thoughts on “Moments We Take For Granted

  1. So true- this past year my oldest daughter graduated and moved away to go to university and my youngest started high school. Two very exciting milestones but as always, they were bittersweet as their dad was not here to see them.

  2. I felt that sinking in my heart today as I was looking through greeting cards. I can no longer buy cards that are from both parents. The to daughter from Daddy cards brought tears to my eyes. The 25th anniversary cards which I would have been buying next year caused a flash of anger towards the people who killed my husband. This flood of crazy emotions in Target….

  3. I find that, one year, six months after my beloved husband died (somewhat unexpectedly) that there are moments when the grief is so acute, so wrenching, that it’s hard to breathe. The first year was a blur of taking care of “stuff” usually in the form of “So sorry for your loss, miss, but could you send us a certified copy of the death certificate ?” that the gut wrenching pain of his loss- our loss – only settled in where it could hurt the most recently. Today- for example- was one deep breath after the other- as I wrangled with not being “we”, not having the life we imagined having when our kids grew up- the plans dreamed about, but clearly ripped away. It’s a kick in the heart 24/7, 365.

  4. Yeah I have a hard time watching public displays of affection like that. Mine was like that. He hugged everyone. He always had a smile for the kids and every time I see a happy couple I feel very very alone for a second.

Leave a Reply