Loving Beyond Loss

I would like to start this blog post by saying that this is not a blog saying that you MUST love again post loss.  This is a blog post about how you CAN love again.  Happiness is not tied to being in a romantic relationship, but if you do decide that a new relationship is in your future – this blog post is meant to give hope, inspire the idea of new love, and give you acceptance when you are ready.

I’ve written just briefly about my new husband Keith and it’s time I tell more of our love story.  At times I’m torn about writing about my amazing love because I don’t want to hurt those in the first few days, weeks, and months of loss. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that people follow my story because it’s an evolution brought about with painful experience, and the ability to open myself back up to life, and love.  To deny my newest chapter to save the feelings of a few would be short-sided on my part.

I am in love again.

It is possible.

It’s not the same and that’s okay – it shouldn’t be the same.  My late husband Mitch, and my new husband Keith are both unique men, and each hold a special place in my expanded heart.

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On June 27th, 2014 – my 5-year-old son walked me down the aisle and gave me away to a new man.  From the time he proposed at Christmas of 2013 it was a whirlwind of emotions. I won’t tell you it was easy to put a ring on my finger again. I had feelings of fear, pain, love, and hope, all filling me like an inner tornado of emotions.  Tears filled my eyes as I looked down at my little man who is the spitting image of his father.  So young, so innocent, and so happy.  He was just 13 months old when his father left on a beautiful October morning for a simple flight and never came home.  Now, nearly five years later he was this amazing young man walking me into my future.  My children have always been my greatest motivation to live again.  My children give me wings when I thought I would never fly again. My children remind me that in the depths of pain – light will some day come again.  Their innocence, their light, their loving spirit – guiding me forward.

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So let me tell you about this man I have chosen to spend the remainder of my life with, because so often people seem concerned for his well-being, and if my past life limits our ability to love and build a future.

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This amazing man got the memo immediately that I was a widow.  He knew my past before he ever asked me on a first date, it wasn’t a hidden fact – he knew who and what I was before we feel in love.  We’ve shared openly and honestly in our relationship what my past and HIS past means for OUR combined future.  This man has hiked mountains with me in my late husband’s honor, and this man has picked my kids up when they fall, he took my daughter to her first father/daughter dance.  He’s held me when I cry because my children are grieving.  He’s not intimidated or hurt when I post about Mitch because he realizes that grieving is a path we take in our way and in our own time.  You see, it is entirely possible to love my late husband who will forever hold a special place in my heart and also love this incredible man who I married seven months ago.  My heart is wide and deep enough to be capable of loving fully and completely again post loss.

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I won’t say our relationship is always easy – but then again, what relationship is?  We have your typical relationship ups and downs compounded with grief and blending a family.  Navigating the land mine of any new love can be terrifying.  Never knowing where to step or what a misstep might uncover.  As scary as new love can be due to fear of another loss, fear of a broken heart, and fear of all the fear – it can be wonderful and amazing beyond words.  You see, those who can love beyond great loss are gifted. Gifted with the ability to understand the brevity of life.  Gifted with a deeper joy, appreciation of life, and thankfulness for each second of happiness granted in this lifetime.  This is not a gift that is given without the horrific experience of loss.  At times, it takes great pain to understand real joy.

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So this amazing man who gives of himself daily, fulfills the role of *dad on earth* and rides the waves of grief by my side understands that he never takes second place in my heart.  I am in a new chapter of life, and while I sometimes go back and re-read the highlights from previous chapters – I create new pages daily and with no regret.

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I have a new family today and for that I’m blessed.  It’s not easy to move forward.  It’s not easy to blend a family, but it’s also not easy to give up on life – to forget that the days after loss can be filled with love again, laughter again, and joy again.

Life’s not easy – PERIOD.

I’ve lived through some of the worst days imaginable and I’ve chosen to make as many days ahead as happy as is within my power to do.

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I’m so blessed to have Keith and our entire crazy little blended family.

Life happens post loss – it’s up to you what it looks like. Regardless of how you decide to spend your days – it won’t always be easy but I hope you decide life and love are worth it.

I hope you dance.

Michelle <3

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65 thoughts on “Loving Beyond Loss

  1. Michelle, your story is beautiful and I wish all the love and happiness. My husband Rick passed Dec. 1,2014 and I miss him so much. I have a wonderful family and friends who are there for me. I admire you in all you do and always look forward in you posts..you are an inspiration to me. Thank you…

    • Thank you Barbara. I appreciate your kind words and I’m glad it’s helpful. I’m so deeply sorry for the loss of your Rick. It’s still so new…be gentle with yourself and give it time. Much love.

    • Your story is beautiful and special, thank you for sharing. I am still very raw and sick with a whirlwind of emotions. I lost my sweet Jim on January 3, 2015 after a 2 yr battle with Leukemia we thought we had beat after a stem cell transplant, but after several bouts of pneumonia the last one day after Christmas we were told the Cancer was back even more aggressive. I lost the love of my life and soul mate seven yrs after we were married . Jim was only 48 yrs old and will be forever young. I miss him so much, my body literally aches.

      • Cathy,
        I feel your pain with the loss of your husband. I know that you feel sadness everyday. I know that you wish there was a way to change the outcome of what happened. I know you cry and get angry at the fact that he isn’t coming back. It will be 3 years since I lost my husband. He was only 34 and passed from a virus that attacked his heart. He left behind me and a son now 7 and daughter now 4. I feel I can relive your pain but please know that you will feel better soon. Life will not drag you through sorrow and misery rather it will surprise and enlighten you on a new path to happiness. Give yourself time. Oh, don’t think your crazy if you talk to your decreased spouse on a regular basis cause it will make you feel better!

      • Cathy
        I can so relate to what you have lived throught and my heart breaks for you! My precious husband of 32 years died at 57. I was left a widow at 56. He also had AML he unfortunately died 311 days post transplant. He stayed in Lafayette and didn’t go to Houston soon enough. They killed him here before we could go to Texas ..Houston did all they could but we stayed here from Oct 2007 got to Houston Feb 2008 and he passed.away 2009 . I have remarried . I will never ever forget.My Richard it’s different but you never forget your 1st love you have my deepest condolences. . Transplant is so hard and the after affects are equally tramatic for you both.
        May GOD Bless you.
        Carolyn Morgan Barker

  2. Thank you for this post. It’s always wonderful, exciting, encouraging and gives me hope to hear about love after loss♡♡

  3. Thank you for sharing your most personal grief and and sharing your journey so we can know the depths of both and that were not alone and it is normal what we are going through and there is light at the end of the tunnel
    I am thankful i found you and happy for you and your family you are a blessing to many people

  4. I find your posts so incredibly inspiring! I’m not a widow, but I lost my brother on 12/5/2014. I use your insight to help in the support of my SIL and their two young girls, my nieces. Please continue to write about EVERY aspect of losing your husband. It is so true how grief is different for everyone, and you never know that what you are writing is exactly what someone needs to read. Thank you for choosing to live life!

      • As I have been reading and wishing that I had had a blog like this 4 years ago when my husband passed I was thinking you should write a book. There are plenty of grieving books but for a real life experience and a moving forward book. Just not out there. Thanks for your courage to write even though some may criticize. Let them walk in our shoes.

    • I have been following you for the last almost 18 months. I too lost someone very special to me, my little brother was killed in a mountain biking accident in August of 2013 and although I know my grief is different than those who lost a spouse, a father, and best friend, my loss is is great and your words have helped with the stages of grief on this journey. My brother left behind a wife and two young girls. I am doing my best to support them and keep his memory alive. Mom moved on right after the loss and that has been hard as well, we were very close, yet another loss. Your writing inspires and lifts me up on dark days. Thank You Michelle, wishing you all the best in your journey of marriage and blending a family.

  5. I always look forward to reading your posts. I’m happy that you were able to find love again. Your post gives hope that it can happen again. I often think that I will never have or love the way I did with my husband. With his death date fastly approaching (3-1-14) I can only pray that GOD continues to guide me through this horrible pain.

  6. This is so inspiring. I lost my partner in Oct 2013 on the very same day I discovered we were having a baby. My heart still aches every single day. Our beautiful 8 month old daughter is my strength in every day. I do hope that there is another love out there for me. In saying that they’ve got huge shoes to fill. For me and my daughter.
    I wish you the very best. X

  7. Yes I have kept up with your story as well.. I am also a widow since 2003.
    I also enjoy your story..
    But please sometimes just add a little Hello to US that are following your BLOG..So we will know you are reading what we have to say..
    Thanks
    Cynthia

  8. Love your story. And yes I was first widowed in 1963 with 3 small children. I remarried 2 years later. This marriage also ended in death in 2004. 4 months after his death my oldest daughter died. Now I’m 75 and alone. Holidays are sad when there’s no one to talk to only the TV. All MyFamily has there own life to carry on. This Valantines day no calls no invites. No cards candy or flowers. So I go to WalMart buy a mini red rosé plant ( last one they had.). As I’m there I noticed several people around my age smiling and just looking at everyone. One lady I talked to said your the first person I’ve talked to in days. We exchanged phone numbers. Life is getting harder. I don’t want to go to nursing home.

    • June……Go out an make your life. There is more than Walmart. When my hubby of 50 years died, I joined Meet-up groups. Join up with people that like what you enjoy whether it’s going to the movies, dining out, kayaking, dancing, hiking or just anything. Life happens. You need to make it happen for you.

      • Meetup.com it’s a life saver. It’s a site where people start groups to find people with similar interests. It’s free, local and you join, unjoin, go, don’t go. No pressure. I found a group of woman to just go out to dinner with and then I joined more groups. My 25 yr old son says I have more of a social life now than he does!

    • June, my heart goes out to you. My husband died 5 years ago. I know how lonely you can be. I am 70 and I volunteer when I feel good enough to. I joined some groups I am interested in and work at a little part time job. I know there are others who are lonely. Find them.

  9. I too look forward to your story ,posts and lessons….HOPE is such hard feeling to get hold of after a death of a partner…and then dating after such a long time away from dating….I did love again but was rejected and I’m moving forward….but I’m having difficulty because he really did not tell me why…just that he had to take care & do some things by himself. Perhaps you could also open up about how you started dating and what that was like….did you go through days where your feelings went back and fourth. At times I think I’m nuts! How was it to trust again??? Thank you so much for making this your mission….there are so many of us that aren’t sure……you are a special woman thanks for filling up my void and unsureness in life. Does that feeling ever go away????

    • Melissa,

      It seems we are on the same page… I too question how to do it all and in the meantime depression has led to bad diet choices and too much drinking. I have had a hard time trusting men in general and understanding their affections toward me when they prob are just trying to be supportive. Ugh… Feel like I need to understand how it all works again!

  10. I lost my husband September 28th 2013. I can’t imagine loving anyone else, and yet people tell me I will. I know it’s too soon but he was perfect for me and I can’t imagine finding that again.

  11. Beautifully and thoughtfully written. I am so very happy for you and your blended family. I lost my husband in October 2013,when our son was just a few months. I am at the beginning of a wonderful new relationship. I do find it hard to accept that another man would want to take on the two of us and be a third parent to my little boy. Thank you for writing. It does give me hope for the journey ahead. Kerensa

  12. Dear Michelle –

    I’m not a widow . . . yet. My husband is very, very ill – and though I haven’t given up hope for his healing, I also realistically know that his illness (cancer) could take him from me (and our son) . . .

    So, I ran across your FB page – and I’m hoping that, even if my husband can survive for several years, I can somehow learn to cope with the grief that I already feel. His illness has changed him and also changed our household. I find myself battling a deep, deep sadness – and I know our son (15) is fighting his own depression. Our life has changed, very quickly, in the days since we found out that my husband is seriously ill – and it’s very often a struggle for us to keep going.

    I find myself wanting things that I know will never be, again. I find myself not really wanting to face the world or to hear about other people’s seemingly carefree lives. I find myself wishing that my husband could be well.

    I don’t know . . . but if I can be inspired by your journey, maybe there’s hope for my life, too.

  13. My daughter lost her husband last year, Feb 7, 2014. They were only married 10 months, and her first anniversary is coming up on St Patricks. Day. Her birthday is the next day. She has been through hell, having hosp. bills, money garnished, besides having to help her two teenagers, who lost the only “real” dad they ever had. She completely flipped out, will not get any help, won’t let her kids talk to a grief counselor at school, made a lot of crazy and bad decisions, and went through money like it was free. She will not listen to me, and I have been the only one in her corner all her life. This man treated her like a lady, and at age 34, had never been treated good. Then he got a staph infection, and within a week, he was gone. So sad, and I don’t know what I c as n do, as I don’t live in the same city. My husband is handicapped, and I have my hands full, too. I can’t leave him alone for long, so going to stay with her is not possible. We also have a split level home, and he can’t do stairs alone. Things are so hard, I have been reading your messages, and finding a sort of a balance, that things will be okay for her. Thank you for the inspiration.

  14. I am so blessed to have found love , I a new way, my grandaughter ! She is my heart putty! She fills that gap that she know is there from the loss of my husband, She was born six weeks after he passed And has been my glue! Romantic love, doubtful at my age! But other loves abound

  15. Thank you for sharing your beautiful and hopeful story of love with us. My husband died in 2004 and sometimes I feel that I will never have a romantic relationship again. Lately I have realized that I not only miss my husband, but I also miss being a partner, a girlfriend or wife. Thanks for all of your gorgeous photos and heartfelt stories. Keep sharing!

  16. Everything you said say exactly how I feel. And the truth is, very few understand that. Sometimes I don’t even understand it. Fear is the biggest road block at the moment. Fear of another loss no matter how it comes. But to push through that little 4 letter word of fear is the accomplishment that will make you prevail through this journey and be the strongest (hate that word sometimes), bravest and most loving person. YOU have written it down and awesome for you to be able to get it all out. Thank you. What you write makes me feel like I am right on track when sometimes I just don’t know if what I am feeling is real. Enjoy your new marriage, your new family. I can only pray that I find that happiness again one day! :)

  17. I Came home from a business trip a week ago today to find my husband dead in our bed. He was incredibly healthy and died suddenly of a brain aneurism so no warning but thankfully no pain. We were together 28 years. Thank you for sharing your journey. It helps to hear others stories

  18. Since the loss of my spouse of 39 years, I have the opportunity of a second chance with a wonderful, caring man who lost his spouse of many years. You have confirmed all the questions and concerns I was having. Thank you.

  19. I’m so glad you are writing a book! I hope Keith will have at least one chapter! His letter to you and feelings he shared about marrying a widow were so touching and insightful. You are gifted with inspiration for those of us who are walking this grief journey ( nearly 5 yrs. for me). Thank you for inviting us on this journey together. There are wonderful people in this life who are “God with skin on” and you are one of those people.

    You give us hope!

  20. You could be writing my former daughter in law’s story. Five months after their daughter was born we lost my wonderful son at age thirty three to an unsuspected aneurism. A terrible thing for us all and such a loss for the beatiful little girl he adored who never really got to know him. As with your story, Amy has found a great young man after three years alone. He has even accepted us, Amy’s former in laws, as an included part of their blended family. There really are good people in this world.

  21. It does get a little easier with time. My husband Johnny passed away in January 2002. We were married for almost 28 years. I remarried Doug March 5, 2005. Next month Doug and I will be married 10 years. It is good to be loved!

    • Kathy,
      This site was recommended by another widow friend. Am 2 years out and journey has been very hard. Married for 27 years, and being single , meeting new divorced friends, felt a loss of a man in their life for my 4 children ,(ages 14-27). Sometimes, timing is everthing. In your case, the timing was right for you. Often times a friend who understands is exactly what we need to survive. I could write a book,(friends keep saying that’s another chapter in your book) about the single scene. All the rules have changed in 30 years!
      Embrace life on earth.

  22. Hi. I am a widow. Almost 2.5 years now. I read your post. It is nice to be able to relate to someone in similar shoes. I am in a new relationship and have been for almost 2 years. My children are grown (24 & 28 y.o. daughters). My husband passed 6 months after a cancer diagnosis. A horrible experience for us all. Since then, the ups and downs have been tremendous. Jeff came into my life shortly after my husband passed. Jeff too had just lost his wife 6 months before I lost my husband. We’d known each other for years, but were not social friends at all. Just two good people sharing a great loss. My kids are put off by the relationship happening so soon. And it has been hard to lose my husband and go through empty nest without him, and under the stress of their disapproval. I can totally understand where they were coming from. And I wish I hadn’t gotten into the relationship quite so fast. I hope time will help them to understand. But, we surely have been great support to each other, understanding the tremendous loss as spouses can only know. Jeff was married 25 years to his wife. I was married 27 years to my husband. The love we have for each other is only strengthened by our past…my relationship with my late husband too only grew in love by what we survived and thrived on. No one will every take Ken’s place (late husband). And overtime I look into my daughters (and one granddaughter’s) faces I see their father and our life together pass before my eyes. I still miss him and the way it was, but know I cannot linger there…WAITING…as if I am to awaken from a nightmare. I have had to GO ON. All the while trying to show my kids that I am still here for them, still available to them, and LOVE THEM and their father always….

  23. I lost the love of my life October 23, 2013. We were married 23 years and high school sweethearts. I am now in a new relationship that gives me great joy. I think because my husband left me so full of love I was able to love easily again. It is quite the land mine though, navigating love, grief and relationships. Thank you for your stories and your hope.

  24. I too lost my husband. It’s been nearly 6 years now. I too have found a new man that has stolen my heart. We are not married, and have made choices to protect our children from the roller coaster of life as much as we can, but we are patient. We know that we will be able to change things once the kids are a bit older. Patience and the willingness to wait for something that is very much worth it in our minds is important. My kids love him too, but are older and I just don’t want to move them during high school, and his have a Mom that shares custody, so here we sit… in limbo. I would rather be happy in limbo than lonely in life. <3

  25. Thank you for all that you write. I suddenly lost my husband of 24 yrs on Dec 28, 2011 just 2 days after our first grand child was born. I thought my life was over, but decided to face this grief journey head on. With Gods help and lots of support, I have been able to move forward. Just yesterday I got engaged to a wonderful man who is willing to walk along side me on this journey. He listens to stories about my late hubby, laughs at the funny ones and holds me when I need to cry. I started a grief share group in our community and he is there at every meeting to support me. He also likes to read you blogs about “the second chapter”, so thank you for writing and sharing. You are a blessing!

  26. Michelle, thank you such for this beautiful post. I lost my husband Michael in May 2014. I was so devastated. I thought my life was over. He left behind 2 wonderful boys, and they are my reason for living. I never in a million years thought that I would be a widow at the age I’d 40. I always thought marriage is forever and we would go old together. Unfortunately that was not God’s plan in my life. I have learned to adjust post loss. It has been a battle, but not impossible. You have been such an inspiration to me. It’s now been 10 months since my husband passed and I have found love again. I was scared to open my heart to a new person. I felt like I was betraying my late husband. I have now come to understand that that is not true. I have learned to give myself a second chance to feel happy. Reading this post has given me chance to understand that it’s ok to move forward. Thank you so much for your wonderful and inspirational posts.

  27. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I was just thinking about you the other day, wondering how you seem to have such a good handle on things in regards to being remarried. Logically, I know that you have your ups and downs, just like the rest of us, but still…I get caught up and worry that I’m not “doing it right” or that I’m “too fearful” or that I just simply worry too much and should try to just go with it. And then I get trapped in my own fear. So. Thank you for sharing this. :)

  28. I am brand new to 1fw, just joined today. I love your story. I lost my husband just over 2 years ago. He had battled liver disease for years, then was diagnosed with cancer of the liver and died 13 months later. I believe I started grieving long before he died. We were together 30 years, had a good marriage. Combined we had 6 kids, then adopted 2 more. I have a ton of grandkids and soon will have 8 great grandkids. I’m in a good place on the grief journey, I’m involved in my church, homeschool my youngest son, do a lot of things. Night time when everything is quiet is when loneliness kicks in. But I know it’s normal to feel how I do, its all part of it.

    I am in a place where if God willing, I could share my life again. But for me I think it will be difficult to to find a man in his 60’s to want to marry someone with a football team for a family and still having to preteen boys at home. I won’t say it can never happen. But I believe God is going to have to do I don’t have time to date.

    It’s even hard to find girlfriends around my who want to hang out because I have kids. So pretty much my life revolves around them. Thats not a bad thing at all, but I do miss being a wife.

    I also want to add that over the last 9 months I’ve started taking better care of myself, getting fit after many years of neglect, I feel better and stronger than I have in years. I’ve released 44lbs so far, (I say released instead of lost because I because I don’t want to find them again), so I’ve let them go. Eating healthier food’s and exercising 6 days a week. Life is good.

    Congratulation’s Michelle on your new marriage blessings on your new journey.

  29. Hi Michelle,

    I just wanted to let you know I came to your sight about October 2014 last year. I lost my husband, David, my best friend, on 9/19/14 waiting for a heart transplant. I had to delete you from my Facebook because I was not ready yet to experience joy again. But since then I have been doing a lot of work on myself. Similar to you I took the path of emerging myself into yoga. I began a teacher training program last November 2014 which has helped my healing and to expand my heart. I am doing the American Heart Walk in Boston in honor of my husband and my friends and family are a great support. This is helping. During this week I got to thinking of your sight and your joy that you have once again have in your life. So I came back to heal more. I think I am ready to experience joy and love again in my life. I have four children, 24, 23, 19, and 17. My focus is being there for my 17 year old in his senior year and helping him choice the right college. My children (3 boys and a daughter) have been a great support to me and I have to them during this year of ups and down moments of grief. It is true it comes on like waves!!! thank you for starting this organization and all you write. You are an inspiration to me as I make myself again feel and experience joy and someday love again! Peace and Love, Dana

  30. Happy for you Michelle. I have read everyone’s story of inspiration. These stories are all uplifting..I lost my boyfriend of 16 yes off and on. He died of lung cancer. We broke up 5 months before he passed, but we went to dinner still before he passed. I still miss being with him, and my daughter misses her step dad… I explain to my kid he’s happy with his mom and dad..let’s let him be happy and us stop crying….

  31. Thank you for your totally honest story’s of inspiration. I lost my partner of 17 years this past March in a small plane accident. The most heart breaking experience of my life. I know that he is watching and protecting me and his family but you also give me hope!

  32. I am so glad to find your story. I will continue to read so I can help my daughter. January 3. 2016 her husband was in a fatal car accident. He was 24. She is 25 and the twins were 10 months old at the time.
    I am borrowing some of your words to help my daughter. It has only been a month.
    Thank you for helping …. now and in the weeks months to come.

  33. Thank you for sharing your journey. It has been 5 years since my loss. I have not met any one and I have not been on a date. People tells me I’m to pretty to be by myself. I am 53 years old. I want to love and be loved again!

  34. What an inspiring story and full of hope. I lost my husband and soul-mate in December 2014 and my feelings about loving again have gone from ‘I’ll never love again’ to ‘I’d like to believe in the possibility that I could love again. So many widows who have remarried tell me that their second love is different to their first, but your blog shows why and that it is perfectly normal to expect it to be different – because your husbands are different men. But what I have particularly taken from your blog is your description of a heart that has room for more love and is “expanded” by your second love. What a beautiful and inspiring description. I don’t know if I will ever find love again, I hope so, but if I do then I thank you for teaching me that it is possible to love again whilst grieving and loving your first love.

  35. I am almost at year two- and as I have noted before, it’s worse than year one. But it acutely and painfully hit me just a day ago that the worst of it is not having him to just bounce ideas off of- how was your day? What’s going on? Isn’t this election cycle scary? Please don’t get me wrong I love my children. But they aren’t partners and we don’t have meaningful and not meaningful conversations. Not because they aren’t wonderful- they just aren’t partners. I am open to suggestions and thoughts on this one- short of a dating webpage – because that is of zero interest.

    • Me again- book groups are lovely as are friends- I have both. It just isn’t the same and it doesn’t fill the void…. help!

  36. Thank you so much for posting this!!! I thought being a widow was hard, but learning to love again has definitely brought about it’s own challenges. I was a “young widow”. My first love passed away in a car accident after 2 years of us being together. 7 years later I’ve found another great guy but I often struggle with “do I love my current boyfriend ENOUGH”. Does grieving detract from my new relationship? Your words hit the spot….they are 2 men of course I will love them differently. Thank you so much for this article. It has brought me some peace:-)

  37. It’s like you’ve reached into my head and put shape around my thoughts and feelings. My husband was my world and I lost him in 2011. I thought I would never have room in my broken heart to love anyone again then unexpectedly I met someone who proved me wrong. I’m getting married again in June and I feel absolutely blessed to have this second chance. I will never stop loving donal but I have a life left to live and that life is fuller for having met seamus. Like Keith, he has stood by my side as I remember and honour Donals memory, never expecting me to forget. Thanks for sharing and helping me to put my turbulent feelings into words.

    • Me, too, Becki. Michelle doesn’t really speak to those of us of a certain age, who have lost our spouse of 40+ years. Life for us is not really living, but more just existing. Even our grown children can’t make up for the love we had — and will NEVER have again. We’re not suicidal, and yet death is the only consolation, and cannot come a moment too soon.

  38. MY Joy is back to me after a very long time which i an my ex separated since i was alone my life change,every thing about me change a friend of mine gave me an email address and told me that this was the email address she contacted when she was in the same problem so i contacted the email i got a reply he ask me to send him my number so i did he was a man call PRIEST ADE he is a spell caster he caster a spell for me and told me that within two day that my ex we be back for good within that two days my ex was back, i and my ex just got married. few week back, you can contact him at ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com view his website at https://ancientspiritspell.wixsite.com/ancientspiritspell once again thank you PRIEST ADE
    .,

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