BEFORE THE NEXT STAGE

BEFORE THE NEXT STAGE It seems like yesterday that the doctor placed you in my arms and I fell in love. You were, and still are incredible. So tiny So innocent So perfect within your newness I didn’t know that less than three years from that moment, I would have to look in your sweet and beautiful blue eyes and …

TELL ME ABOUT MY DADDY….

TELL ME ABOUT MY DADDY…. “Mommy, tell me about my Daddy please.” She looked at me with her big blue eyes, and she didn’t falter. It was the evening of her eleventh birthday, and the first time in eight years she had ever asked me to sit down and tell her about her Father. We talk about him often; he …

WIDOWHOOD: THE GLASS HOUSE OF GRIEF

WIDOWHOOD: THE GLASS HOUSE OF GRIEF Welcome to widowhood. I’m giving you fair warning this journey will be perhaps the crappiest you ever endure. This journey is difficult regardless of your kind of loss. It may have come as a shock; it may have been expected, regardless of your circumstances, it is beyond painful. No words do the pain any …

STOP COMPARING DEATH AND DIVORCE

STOP COMPARING DEATH AND DIVORCE Please just stop. A few weeks after my late husband passed away was my first preview into the competitive world of, whats worse, death or divorce? and it made me infuriated. Here I was, a newly grieving widow, dealing with the end of life stuff, shock, two tiny children and tons of grief and someone …

WHEN YOU’RE OKAY

WHEN YOU’RE OKAY The past few days I spent in my old town, just a few doors down from the house we lived in when he died. This was also the house we brought our babies home to after their birth and the house he loved and adored. I sold that house about a year after his passing, it seemed …

PERMISSION TO RISE

PERMISSION TO RISE I give you permission to rise. I realize you don’t need my permission, but there are days where we all need someone to tell us it’s okay. I’m a 44-year-old woman who has lived through more than my fair share of crap in this life from poor self-image, weight difficulties, widowhood in my mid-thirties, and solo parenting …

WHO YOU SHOULD LOVE AFTER LOSS

WHO YOU SHOULD LOVE AFTER LOSS It’s lonely. In fact, lonely is not a strong enough word to grasp the depth of aloneness that becomes your life after loss. You are desperately and hopelessly alone regardless of how many people surround you, love you, care about you. You can be in the center of a room that is filled with …

YOU SHOULD STAY

YOU SHOULD STAY When tragedy happens everyone runs to be by your side. The beauty of human nature in the midst of unthinkable circumstances can be truly inspiring, and profoundly encouraging. You hear every kind, sincere and beautiful promise possible by people who believe in everything they say. “I promise to help you on the hard days. I promise to …

I CAN’T FIX THIS

I CAN’T FIX THIS My son was 13 months when he lost his father. He holds no memories of his daddy and never asks questions or brings him up. He is a happy, well-adjusted, smart, and lovable five years old. He just also happens to be a kid who’s dad died way too young. Truth be told, I don’t worry …

THE GLASS HOUSE OF GRIEF

THE GLASS HOUSE OF GRIEF Welcome to widowhood. I’m giving you fair warning – this journey will be perhaps the crappiest you ever endure. This journey is difficult regardless of your kind of loss. It may have come as a shock; it may have been expected, regardless of your circumstances it is beyond painful. No words do the pain any …