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Screen Shot 2019-02-12 at 7.05.07 PM
Screen Shot 2019-02-12 at 7.05.07 PM

Living Without Those You Can’t Live Without

You are living without the person you can’t possibly have lost. The loneliness can’t be captured in any word, phrase or song. It’s palpable, breathtaking and seemingly void of all reality. It’s cold, cruel and takes your heart to a level of pain you didn’t even realize existed before death laid its cold hand on your barely beating heart. There …

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The Empty Chair

You stand in a room full of the usual hustle and bustle of the holidays. Love and gratitude are the theme and memories flood in faster than you can process them. Sights Sounds Smells It’s all so much, and you are so tired at the depths of your soul. Grief is exhausting and the holidays are daunting. The people in …

Building Resiliency in Kids After Loss

The single hardest thing for me to accept on that fateful night after being told of his plane crash, where the many thoughts and fears that surrounded the lives of our small children. How would they survive without him?How would they ever be whole and happy again?How badly would they hurt for the rest of their life?Would they still be …

Surviving The Holidays: 12 Tips For The Grieving

My late husband passed away in early October 2009, and within two weeks I dealt with my daughter’s third birthday. Six weeks after that was our first Thanksgiving without Mitch, and a month later, Christmas. Wow, talk about being hit with an emotional sledgehammer. The holidays are hard on people even without the added pain of grief. Please know, there …

Stifled Grief: How The West Has It Wrong

Stifled Grief: How the West Has It WrongThe reality is you will grieve in some capacity for the rest of your life. Once loss touches you-you are forever changed despite what society tells you. Stop looking at the expectations of an emotionally numbed society as your threshold and measuring stick for success.By Michelle Steinke-Baumgard, ContributorOne Fit Widow After nearly seven …

BROWN EYED BOY

BROWN EYED BOY My kids go to school about a mile from where my husband’s plane went down. It’s an excellent school with a fantastic reputation, but for a few moments after Addy got a spot on the waiting list I had reservations about going there simply due to proximity. The airport is a busy one with 2 flight schools …

DEAR WIDOW POLICE – I WON’T REVOKE MY CARD

DEAR WIDOW POLICE – I WON’T REVOKE MY CARD  LOVING AGAIN, CHAPTER 2, GRIEF COMPARISON, DEALING THE DAMAGE OF LOSS Nearly six years ago I was given exclusive membership to one of the world’s crappiest clubs. October 9th, 2009 – the day I went from being half of M & M, Mrs. Michelle Steinke, and the wife of Mitchel Steinke to becoming a …

I CAN’T FIX THIS

I CAN’T FIX THIS My son was 13 months when he lost his father. He holds no memories of his daddy and never asks questions or brings him up. He is a happy, well-adjusted, smart, and lovable five years old. He just also happens to be a kid who’s dad died way too young. Truth be told, I don’t worry …

SAY THEIR NAME

He was one of the most important parts of my life for more than fifteen years. We traveled, we explored, we lived and loved. He made me his wife, and I made him my husband. We welcome two beautiful kids into the world, built a house and lived our dream. He held my hand when I cried, and he kissed …

THE HEARTACHE OF DONUTS WITH DAD AND MUFFINS WITH MOM

THE HEARTACHE OF DONUTS WITH DAD AND MUFFINS WITH MOM Dear school administrator, I think it’s time we drop Donuts with Dad and Muffins with Mom. Allow me to explain why so many of us feel this way. I’m writing this letter to you on behalf of every single SOLO parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or godparent in this world. Some …