one fit widow

Before the Next Stage

It seems like yesterday that the doctor placed you in my arms and I fell in love.

You were, and still are incredible.

So tiny

So innocent

So perfect within your newness

I didn't know that less than three years from that moment, I would have to look in your sweet and beautiful blue eyes and tell you that your Daddy would never be coming home again. That moment is forever engraved in my mind and while I can't change the past, I can continue to support you, love you, and teach you as you grow through this life without him.

So, as you close out grade school and head into junior high, here are a few things I'd like you to know.


You are the sum of the people you spend your time with

Pick your friends wisely, and never settle for negativity, drama or a poor attitude. Your community and your tribe will push you to reach for more and become better, or they will drag you down to the lowest common denominator. Rise up baby, and surround yourself with people who want to rise also.

Do work

You can go anywhere in this life if you work hard and never give up. Don't expect anyone to hand you anything. Work hard, be humble, kind and live with intention. You can't beat the person who never gives up.

Be patient

Most good things in life take a lot of time. Don't expect overnight success with anything from your fitness, relationships, grades or future business endeavors. Expect to do the work consistently and then be patient for things to click. Working hard and patience are the true key to a life of unstoppable success and happiness.

Love yourself first

Regardless of the topic, you come first. Don't put off your fitness, your health, your nutrition, your sanity, or your happiness for another day or another person. If you don't take the time to love yourself, then don't expect someone else to do it. You have to take personal responsibility to make this life what you want it to be and that all starts and ends with self-love.

He's not worth it

That boy who will break your heart. He is not worth it. If someone someday doesn't see the incredible awesomeness that is you, walk away, take a few moments to mend your heart but keep your head high, and realize you don't ever want someone who does not want you in return. You are worth so much more.

Be involved

Do every sport, run for student government, join clubs, take chances, be loud, make your voice heard and remembered the most significant way to learn is to FAIL (first attempt in learning). While you are busy being involved, don't forget to sit back, watch and listen. You will not only learn from those moments you failed, but you will also learn from the things others do and say. Observation is your friend and the quieter you become, the more you will see the world, and others for all that they truly are.

Exercise every single day of your life for a better life

I've got a very important secret to tell you and this one I truly want you to hear. Fitness and exercise are game changers for all that you are. Everything in life will improve if you take the time to sweat and empower yourself. It's not about the size of your body; it's about the size of your life. Don't do it as punishment for food, do it as a reward for being healthy enough to move.

Food is neither good nor bad

Don't label your food, just realize it is fuel for all that you are. For the most part, strive to eat a whole foods based diet, and take the time to appreciate the flavors, colors, and nutrients your food provides. Don't start demonizing an entire food group based off of what someone else tells you. Instead, take the time to listen to your own body and learn what makes you feel really good.

Practice daily gratitude and don't complain

Listen, life is not going to be perfect, baby girl, you already learned that first hand when you lost your dad. If you focus on all life has taken away from you, life will only get worse. Instead, focus on all you have left. The roof over your head, the beauty of the sunset, the sound of the mountain river, the hug of your brother, the incredible ability you have to empathize with others and help them feel good about themselves. If you focus on all you have and stop complaining about what you don't, you will raise your focus, your energy, and your vibration, and life will improve moment over moment.

Love yourself while you work to improve yourself

Right now, at this moment, you should love yourself. You can always work towards becoming a better version of you, but that should never stop you from embracing who you are and all you offer right at this very moment. The two are not mutually exclusive. I realize I'm your mom, and I see nothing but perfection, but I want you to see your right now perfection too.

Don't care what anyone thinks about you EVER

Be kind, do no harm, but take no crap. You were not put on this earth to please others; you were put on this earth to make your way, follow your journey, and love your life. You will never make everyone happy so don't even try. When people take issue with you, typically it has more to do with them than with you. They have their own story, their pain, and their reasons for their actions, don't hold it in your heart and let it affect you. Don't let a hater stop you from being all you can be. At the end of your life, those people won't matter, and their words will have long passed. Live your truth and don't give power to another.

Memories and experiences are more important than stuff

Don't spend your life doing a job you hate so you can buy things to impress people who don't matter. Focus on memories, experiences, LIVING, and the rest will fall into place. The less you own, the less that owns you. Don't waste your life trying to collect stuff. Live a life full of precious moments and unforgettable adventure.

Do what you love

Never settle. If you do what you love in this life, the money will come. Follow your dreams, passions, and what makes you come alive, and you will make a living that makes our world a better place. Remember my earlier hard, be patient and the rest will take care of itself.

Give back

Your life will improve instantly when you help those who can't help themselves, and no matter how low life can get, someone always has it much worse than you. Always give back. It's never, ever a waste of your time and it will always improve your world.

Take responsibility for your health

Don't listen to others when it comes to your health. Be your own best advocate for this one body you have been given. Make it a priority and invest the time and energy to hedge your bets and stay healthy.

Work hard in school

I realize that times are changing and the internet is taking over the world. Sure, you could become a youtube success, but school gives you the base and discipline to achieve greatness. You don't have to be a perfect student who only gets A's, but if you always do your best work, you will set yourself up for a life of success in whatever path you choose. Education is priceless and we never, ever stop learning.

Double down on your strengths

We often worry about the things we struggle with instead of focusing our energy on the thing we rock at in this life. Double your energy around your strengths and take the time to develop them. From what I see, you are a creative, energetic, smart, and vulnerable empath who has wisdom far beyond her eleven years. Just those strengths alone can help change and shift your corner of the world dramatically. Go all in with all that you are.

Own your body

Do you want muscles? Have them. Do you want to be a ballerina? Do it. Do you want to be a runner? Go for it. Don't let other people have a say in how your body should look. The only shape your body should ever take is the shape you want for it. If someone does not like your muscles, who cares. You are the only one who has to love them.

You are beautiful outside but even more inside

Who you are is not your face or your body, who you are is your soul, your energy, and your example to the world. Don't obsess over your outside but work to perfect your inside. Beautiful people are so much more than an outside package; they are a light that shines from the inside out.

Your loss makes you special

You view the world very differently at such a young age. You are enlightened with the true meaning of our time on this planet. Don't ever forget that brutal life lesson and don't ever let it make you feel less than incredible. It has endowed you with wisdom, grace and true depth of emotion. Allow yourself to take your pain and flourish into something uniquely exquisite and beautiful.

Don't ever compromise your character

Your word is everything. Have a strong character and do what you say. Live a life of truth, and you won't ever have to wonder if you could have done better or should have done it differently. Even if it hurts or makes things uncomfortable, be true to your word. Just that one tip will take you through life.

Your hardest teachers and coaches are the most important

That coach who is hardest on you, that teacher who never lets you be....chances are they see your true potential, and they want to help you grow into all the potential they see for you. Don't be mad, be glad someone cares enough about you to invest the hard moments so you can reach your full potential.

Follow the golden rule

Always and forever. No other way to live. Period.


The world is a fantastic place full of incredible people. See them, be open to their way of life, their culture, their religions, the beauty of their diversity and experiences. A well-traveled human is open-minded and kind at an altogether different level. Travel is a priceless education into all we have the potential to become as this human race.

Your father loved you

From the depths of his soul, your father adored you. He couldn't wait for you to born. He couldn't wait to hold you. He marveled at your perfection. Never doubt, in this lifetime, that your father was your most significant cheerleader and wanted you to LIVE every moment of this life. He may not be here in physical form but his love for you lives on and you are a legacy for all that he was every day you decide to live fully.

Become limitless

The only thing that will ever stop you in this life is yourself. You are 100% limitless if you decide to become so. Give up the excuses, don't be a victim of your past but a victor of your future. Stand up for your life, your happiness, and your path. You are unstoppable. Please always remember that.

Said with all my heart and soul sweet girl,


Read more from Michelle, in her new bestselling book, Healthy Healing. Buy it anywhere books are sold or go to: