Stop Comparing Death and Divorce

Please just stop. A few weeks after my late husband passed away was my first preview into the competitive world of, “what’s worse, death or divorce?” and it made me infuriated. Here I was, a newly grieving widow, dealing with the end of life stuff, shock, two tiny children and tons of grief and someone said to me: “Now you know how I felt when so-in-so left.” I was tongue tied. I will be very honest. That sentence pissed me off (read more…)

Widowhood: The Glass House Of Grief

Welcome to widowhood. I’m giving you fair warning – this journey will be perhaps the crappiest you ever endure.             This journey is difficult regardless of your kind of loss. It may have come as a shock; it may have been expected, regardless of your circumstances it is beyond painful. No words do the pain any justice. You will be horrifically lonely in a large crowd of people who love you. You will change as (read more…)

Dear widow police – I won’t revoke my card

Nearly six years ago I was given exclusive membership to one of the worlds crappiest clubs.   October 9th, 2009 – the day I went from being half of M & M, Mrs. Michelle Steinke, and the wife of Mitchel Steinke to becoming a widow. No thanks. You can keep your membership card because at 36, with a 1 and nearly 3 year old at home, and nothing but years of life planned before us – I don’t want admittance (read more…)

Loving Beyond Loss

I would like to start this blog post by saying that this is not a blog saying that you MUST love again post loss.  This is a blog post about how you CAN love again.  Happiness is not tied to being in a romantic relationship, but if you do decide that a new relationship is in your future – this blog post is meant to give hope, inspire the idea of new love, and give you acceptance when you are (read more…)

Moments We Take For Granted

Moments We Take For Granted ~ Today I had the privilege to have lunch with a close widow sister who has been by my side since right after I lost Mitch. I was standing in the restaurant, waiting to be seated before she arrived and a young woman walked in with the cutest little boy I’ve just about ever seen. The woman was tall and blonde, and she had a slight resemblance to me, and the little boy looked a (read more…)

After the Kiss

He kissed me softly and as he did, I tried to quiet my mind and stop the noise.  I tried to live in the moment and embrace this new page in my story without expectation and without concern for what it meant to my past and for my present.  I tried to enjoy that split second and linger in the comfort it provided. I failed miserably at my attempt. My mind raced with every emotion under the sun from guilt (read more…)

10 Regrets of a Young Widowed Mom

  It’s so easy to look back on my past and see all the things I could have done differently/better.  My life has always been blessed, but it took the death of my 37-year-old husband to realize how blessed my life was.  At the time of Mitch’s accident, my young children were just 1 and three years old, and it seemed almost inconceivable that they would grow up without him in their little lives.  Through time and perspective, I can (read more…)